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Starbucks’ War on Christmas – The Ugly Truth

It’s been almost a week since the first shots were fired in Starbucks’ War on Christmas. Since then, social media has been a sea of red. However, all is not as it seems.

Much like the Gulf of Tonkin incident, the truth is more disturbing than the manufactured narrative the people have bought into. At least this time we don’t have to wait 40 years for this false flag operation to be exposed…

Starbucks Marketing Meeting
Dateline: 02 Novemeber 2015

CEO: So, what’s your idea for marketing our new cup design.

Ad guy: We should leak it to Christian conservative outlets, with a “anti-Christmas” slant.

CEO: Seems kind of… counterintuitive?

Ad guy: It’ll work like this… they’ll get morally outraged that it’s not Christmas-y enough, and post it to their social media feeds.

CEO: But they’re not our target demo. Our demo leans more left…

Ad guy: That’s the best part. When even a small minority of Christian conservatives get indignant about something silly, that  then all the lefty atheists will get THEIR knickers in a knot…

CEO: Then THEY’LL go nuts on Twitter too?

Ad guy: Exactly. People will waste DAYS going off on it, all for a few well-placed heads up.

(note: 37 minutes of the unidentified ad guy going on about SEO, impactfulness, key demographics have been removed)

CEO: Interesting. So, what outlets should we target?

Ad guy: Breitbart. That’s all you need.

Both: (maniacal laughter)

Not since the once idealistic Alex Jones managed to sneak into Bohemian Grove has a secret cabal of mass manipulation been uncovered. At least there’s no human sacrifices this time around.

That’s what Easter is for.

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